MEDICAL HUMOR: MEDICAL SLANG

 

Liver bomb - medical slang for a patient with liver failure with tendency to explode from complications thereof, including GI bleeding, ascites, kidney failure, lung failure, and altered mentation.

I had the worst call of my life! I admitted 4 liver bombs and sent three to the ICU!

THE GALLBLADDER

Phonetic exercise: gallbladder [‘g :l‘blædə], non-vital [,n n’vaitl], hollow          [‘h lou] , release [ri’li:s], concavity [k n’kæviti], fundus [‘fΛndəs], diameter [dai’æmitə], store [st :], gallstones [‘g :lstounz], cholelithiasis [,k lili’θaiəsis], cholecystitis [,k lisis’taitis]

 

Make a report on the gallbladder according to the plan below:

Definition: a small non-vital organ; a hollow organ.

Functions: first(ly), to store bile produced in the liver; second(ly), to release bile when food containing fat enters the digestive tract.

Location: in a concavity  of the liver.

Structure: three sections: the fundus, the body, and neck

Size and volume: 8 cm in length and 4 cm in diameter; stores about 50 milliliters of bile.

The most common diseases: gallstones (cholelithiasis), cholecystitis, gallbladder cancer.

 

CHOLECYSTITIS

Phonetic exercise: gallbladder [‘g :l‘blædə], gallstones [‘g :lstounz], cholelithiasis [,k li’li’θaiəsis], cholecystitis [,k lisis’taitis], choleliths [,k li’li’θs], consequence       [‘k nsikwəns], duct [dΛkt], necrosis [nek’rəusis], rupture [‘rΛpt∫ə], surrounding [sə‘raʊndiŋ], obstruction [əbs‘trΛk∫n], gastrointestinal tract [,gæstrəuin’testinl ‘trækt], quadrant [‘kw drənt], scapula [‘skæpjələ], diaphragm [‘daiəfræm], fistula [‘fistjulə], nausea [‘n :siə], procedures [prəu‘si:d3əz], laparoscopy [,læpə‘r skəpi], bile [bail], biliary [‘biliəri], injury [‘ind3əri], abscess [’æbsəs], wound [wu:nd], hernia [‘hə:niə]

Make a report on cholecystitis according to the plan below:

Definition: inflammation of the gall bladder.

Causes and pathology: cholelithiasis (the presence of choleliths, or gallstones, in the gallbladder), with choleliths most commonly blocking the cystic duct directly.

The gallbladder's wall becomes inflamed.

Consequences and complications: necrosis and rupture, irritation of surrounding structures such as the diaphragm and bowel; perforation and formation of a fistula with the nearby small bowel, leading to symptoms of intestinal obstruction.

Symptoms, signs, clinical manifestations, clinical features: pains in the right upper quadrant; constant, severe pains, pains 'referring' to the right flank or right scapular region at first, pains after eating greasy or fatty foods such as pastries, pies and fried foods; a low grade fever, vomiting and nausea, belching, etc.

Evaluation: History: a personal medical history, a medication history, a family history, an alcohol consumption history, an infectious disease history, a social history, an occupational history, etc.

Physical examination: observation, percussion, and palpation.

Instrumental evaluation: common blood count, blood tests for elevated bilirubin, C-reactive protein tests; radiology: sonography, CT, etc.

Treatment: fluid resuscitation and antibiotics, surgical removal of the gallbladder (cholecystectomy), open surgery or a laparoscopic procedure, etc.

Advantages of laparoscopic procedures: less morbidity and a shorter recovery stay. A laparoscopic procedure may also be 'converted' to an open procedure during the operation if the surgeon feels that further attempts at laparoscopic removal might harm the patient.

Complications of cholecystectomy: bile leak, bile duct injury (about 5-7 out of 1000 operations), abscess, wound infection, bleeding (liver surface and cystic artery are most common sites), hernia, organ injury (intestine and liver are at highest risk, especially if the gallbladder has become adherent/scarred to other organs due to inflammation (e.g. transverse colon), deep vein thrombosis/pulmonary embolism, etc.

 

GALLSTONES

Phonetic exercise: crystalline [‘kristəlain], abnormal [æb’n :məl], components [kəm’pəunənts], accretion [ə’kri:∫n], concretion [kə’kri:∫n], biliary [’biliəri], inherited [in’heritid], attack [ə’tæk], motility [m ‘tiliti], diet [daiət], obstruction [əbs‘trΛk∫n], components [kəm’poʊnənts], nausea [‘n :siə], indigestion [,indi‘d3est∫n], percussion [pə’kΛ∫n; pə:’kΛ∫n], palpation [pæl’pei∫n], imaging [‘imid3iŋ], techniques [tek’ni:ks], cholangiography [,k lənd3ai’ græfi], sonography  [,səu‘n græfi], ultrasound [,Λltrə‘saund], resuscitation [ri,sΛsi‘tei∫n], procedures [prəu‘si:d3əz], laparoscopy [,læpə‘r skəpi], bile [bail], lithotripsy [‘liθ ,tripsi], cholecystectomy     [,k lisis’tektəmi], incision [in’si3n], puncture [‘pΛnkt∫ə]

Make a report on gallstones according to the plan below:

 

Definition: the presence of stones in the gallbladder or bile ducts, crystalline bodies formed within the body by accretion (growth) or concretion of normal or abnormal bile components.

Size: as small as a sand grain or as large as a golf ball.

Location: in any part of the biliary system.

Causes: a combination of factors, including inherited body chemistry, body weight, gallbladder motility (movement), and perhaps diet.

Symptoms, signs, clinical manifestations, clinical features: asymptomatic initially, “silent stones”; a gallstone "attack", also known as biliary colic: intense pain in the upper abdominal region that steadily increases for approximately thirty minutes to several hours; pain in the back, ordinarily between the shoulder blades, or pain under the right shoulder; pain in the lower region of the abdomen, nearer to the pelvis; sharp and intensely painful attacks are, similar to that of a kidney stone attack; nausea and vomiting, abdominal bloating, intolerance of fatty foods, belching, gas, and indigestion.

Evaluation: History: a personal medical history, a medication history, a family history, an alcohol consumption history, an infectious disease history, a social history, an occupational history, etc.

Physical examination: observation, percussion, palpation, and auscultation.

Instrumental evaluation: non-invasive imaging techniques, an abdominal ultrasound that shows the ultrasonic shadows of the stones in the gallbladder; liver function blood tests; cholangiography.

Treatment: medications; lithotripsy for a small number of gallstones; cholecystectomy (gallbladder removal) (a 99% chance of eliminating the recurrence of cholelithiasis).

Two surgical options for cholecystectomy: open cholecystectomy: via an incision into the abdomen (laparotomy) below the right lower ribs; laparoscopic cholecystectomy: via three to four small puncture holes for a camera and instruments.

THE ENDOCRINE SYSTEM

Phonetic exercise: endocrine [‘end ukrain; ‘end ukrin; ‘end ukri:n], exocrine [‘eksəukrain; ‘eksəukrin]; control [kən’tr ul], pancreas [‘pæŋkriəs; ‘pæŋkriæs; ‘pænkriəs], enzymes [‘enzaimz], hormones [’h :məunz], insulin [‘insjəlin; ‘insjulin], hypothalamus [,haipəu’θæləməs], pituitary [pi’tju:itəri], pineal [‘pi:niəl; pai’ni:əl],  thyroid [‘θair id], parathyroid [,pærə‘θair id], adrenal [əd’ri:nəl], testes [‘testi:z], ovaries [‘əuvəriz], placenta [plə’sentə], intestine [in’testin], heart [ha:t], pancreatitis [,pæŋkriə’taitis], pancreatic [,pæŋkri’ætik], cancer [‘kænsə], diabetes [,daiə’bi:ti:z]

 

Make a report on the endocrine system according to the plan below:

Definition: a control system of ductless glands, the organs that produce hormones: the hypothalamus, the pituitary gland, the pineal gland, the thyroid gland, the parathyroid glands, the liver, the pancreas, the adrenal glands, the testes in males, ovaries in females, and the placenta in females when pregnant as well as the heart, the stomach, the intestines, the kidneys, and the skin.

The pancreas: one of the most important parts of the endocrine system, a gland organ in the digestive and endocrine systems.

Functions: the pancreas: two major functions: exocrine (producing pancreatic juice containing digestive enzymes) and endocrine (producing several important hormones    including insulin).

Location: in the abdomen; posterior to the stomach and in close association with the duodenum.

Structure of the pancreas: the head, the neck, the body, the tail.

Size: 15-25 cm. The actual size of the pancreas is similar to a banana which has been stepped on.

The most common diseases: pancreatitis, pancreatic cancer, type 1 diabetes (insulin dependent diabetes, childhood onset diabetes), type 2 diabetes ( non-insulin dependent diabetes, adult onset diabetes), cysts,  pancreatic insufficiency, hyperthyroidism, hypothyroidism, etc.

DIABETES

Phonetic exercise: endocrine [‘end ukrain; ‘end ukrin; ‘end ukri:n], exocrine [‘eksəukrain; ‘eksəukrin]; control [kən’trəul], insulin [‘insjəlin, ‘insjulin], pancreas [‘pæŋkriəs; ‘pæŋkriæs; ‘pænkriəs], enzymes [‘enzaimz], hormones [’h :məunz], diabetes [,daiə’bi:ti:z], gestational diabetes [,d3es’tei∫nl ,daiə’bi:ti:z], deficiency [di’fi∫ənsi], blurred [blə:d], vision [‘vi3n], nausea [‘n :siə], altered [‘ :ltəd], consciousness [‘k n∫əsnis], glucose [‘glu:kəus], hemoglobin [,hi:məu’gləubin], fasting [‘fa:stiŋ]

 

Make a report on diabetes according to the plan below:

Definition: a condition in which a person has high blood sugar, either because the body does not produce enough insulin, or because cells do not respond to the insulin that is produced.

Epidemiology: at least 171 million people worldwide suffer from diabetes, or 2.8% of the population.

Classification:

Type 1 diabetes: also known as insulin dependent diabetes, childhood onset diabetes; results from the body's failure to produce insulin, and presently requires the person to inject insulin.

Type 2 diabetes: also known as non-insulin dependent diabetes, adult onset diabetes; results from insulin resistance, a condition in which cells fail to use insulin properly, sometimes combined with an absolute insulin deficiency.

Gestational diabetes: is when pregnant women, who have never had diabetes before, have a high blood glucose level during pregnancy.

Other forms of diabetes mellitus: congenital diabetes, which is due to genetic defects of insulin secretion, cystic fibrosis-related diabetes, steroid diabetes induced by high doses of glucocorticoids,

Symptoms, signs, clinical manifestations, clinical features: polyuria (frequent urination), polydipsia (increased thirst) and polyphagia (increased hunger); changes in the shape of the lenses of the eyes, blurred vision, diabetic ketoacidosis, a state of metabolic dysregulation characterized by the smell of acetone; a rapid, deep breathing known as Kussmaul breathing; nausea; vomiting and abdominal pain; and an altered states of consciousness; a number of skin rashes known as diabetic dermadromes.

Evaluation: History: a personal medical history, a medication history, a family history, an alcohol consumption history, a social history, an occupational history, a diet history, etc.

Physical examination: observation, percussion, palpation, and auscultation.

Instrumental evaluation: plasma glucose tests; fasting plasma glucose level tests;

hemoglobin tests, etc.

Treatment: difficult to cure; appropriate medications (insulin only in the case of type 1 diabetes mellitus; oral medications in the case of type 2 diabetes, as well as insulin); close dietary management, exercise, control of blood pressure, weight control, weight reduction, diabetic socks and possibly diabetic shoes, etc.

PANCREATITIS

Phonetic exercise: pancreas [‘pæŋkriəs; ‘pæŋkriæs; ‘pænkriəs], enzymes [‘enzaimz], hormones [’h :məunz], pancreatitis [,pæŋkriə’taitis], pancreatic [,pæŋkri’ætik], cancer [‘kænsə], acute [ə’kju:t], chronic [‘kr nik], steatorrhea [,sti:ətə’riə], respiratory [ri’spirətəri; ri’spairərətəri; ‘respirətəri], hypercalcemia [‘haipə,kæl’si:miə] congenital [kən’d3enətl], ultrasound [‘Λltrəsaund], amylase [‘æmileis], lipase [‘lipeis], imaging [‘imid3iŋ], adequate [‘ædikwət], intravenously [,intrə’vi:nəsli]

 

Make a report on pancreatitis according to the plan below:

Definition: inflammation of the pancreas.

Classification: two very different forms: acute pancreatitis is sudden while chronic pancreatitis is characterized by recurring or persistent abdominal pain with or without steatorrhea or diabetes mellitus.

Symptoms, signs, clinical manifestations, clinical features: severe upper abdominal pain, with radiation through to the back; nausea and vomiting; high or low blood pressure; elevated heart and respiratory rates; abdominal tenderness.

Causes: gallstones in acute pancreatitis; excessive alcohol use in chronic pancreatitis and acute pancreatitis; less common causes: hypertriglyceridemia, hypercalcemia, viral infection (e.g., mumps), trauma (to the abdomen or elsewhere in the body), pancreas divisum, a common congenital malformation of the pancreas, pregnancy, type 2 diabetes, etc.

Evaluation: History: a personal medical history, a medication history, a family history, an alcohol consumption history, a social history, an occupational history, a diet history, etc.

Physical examination: observation, percussion, palpation, and auscultation.

Instrumental evaluation: laboratory tests: measurement of amylase and/or lipase, ultrasound imaging and CT scanning of the abdomen, CT, etc.

Treatment: provision of pain relief; provision of adequate replacement fluids and salts (intravenously); dietary fat restriction; fluoroquinolone with metronidazole, etc.

 

Дата: 2018-09-13, просмотров: 44.